You do know why being home means so much to me now right? It's not just being home (although that's part of it)...it's the fact that I can *almost* forget I have acute leukemia and multiple myeloma when I'm here. That is, of course, when I'm not taking all my meds, looking at my shiny head in the mirror, contemplating the usefulness of applying mascara to my three remaining eyelashes, avoiding raw veggies like a diehard fast-food junkie, wearing a mask in public, having Kirk wrap my PICC line so I can take a (thank God, hot) shower, taking my temperature, getting a twitch whenever I hear someone cough, or being totally paranoid about microscopic things my nuked immune system can't fight.
But HEY. Those things only take up, oh, I dunno...about 22 hours a day? Plenty of time left to march around and be oblivious!
Anyway it was a gorgeous day, 80 degrees at the beach, and I was free and able to enjoy it. Which is all good.
In three weeks they're going to start harvesting my own stem cells for the autologous transplant. About a week after they finish harvesting, they'll give me a (gnarly) dose of melphalan to prepare my bone marrow for transplant. I understand melphalan is not one of the kinder, gentler chemo drugs. Eeeeek. Not that the ones I've been getting are exactly mild. But you know how it is -- the devil you know versus the devil you don't know.
Someone said to me the other day, "Just live your life." Which is the best advice anyone can offer, I know. Except for the fact that trimming hooves all morning, skating six miles in the afternoon, and riding my horses 'til the sun goes down are all sort of out of the picture...which makes it literally impossible to live MY life. So I'm kinda living somebody else's as best I can right now. A couple of logos I've been working on to keep me busy:
Logos look great.
ReplyDeleteJust live your life...ha easy for them to say.
Thinking about you about twenty two hours out of the day.
I will be down to walk with you this weekend.
Love you Smurf.
Maria I read an interview back in the early 90's. Someone was asking a guy with AIDS how long he thought he had ( What an asshole question in the first place.) The guy answered: I have one minute just like you! I loved it!!!! That put life in perspective for me. You never know what will happen tomorrow :) Hugs Åsa
ReplyDeleteAsa has it down pat! In total agreement!
ReplyDeleteHow are stem cells harvested? where and how does that happen?
ReplyDeleteIt's just like getting dialysis. First, though, they give you "growth factor" injections to stimulate the bone marrow to produce extra stem cells. It's an outpatient procedure, and it takes anywhere from a day (6 hours) to several days for them to harvest enough for a transplant.
ReplyDeleteHey Jeanne, where were YOU yesterday around 11:30? I came by but you were out and about -- again! :-)